Hey Chicago, Go Fuck Yourself
I’ve never seen the hockey equivalent of rope-a-dope until tonight.
It’s kind of hard to punish your opponent when your defense is firmly planted in the sin bin.
Taking 2 penalties in the first 7 minutes proved Willie Mitchell was rustier than a sunken ship.
Chicago didn’t score on the 5 on 3 and that was a bigger mistake that Kanye marrying a Kardashian.
Nick Leddy made Quick look like Yutaka Fukufuji.
Doughty thought he was Jack Johnson on the power play and missed everything by that much.
Following yet another penalty kill, some Chicago 4th line scrub made most Kings fans head to Jack in the Box for some much needed munchies.
Then the Kings woke the fuck up. Whatever they snorted, whatever they injected, whatever video the watched, whatever boot Sutter used to kick their asses…
Mr. Game 7 made things interesting on a puck that moved slower than traffic during rush hour on the 101. That gave the Kings a Red Bull shot.
Oh, great, the Kings are 0-6 when behind after 2 periods and are 0-7 their last 7 in Chicago.
Yeah, stick that up your ass as well.
Stoll giving “showtime” a car wash wax job was exactly what they needed.
The adjustment Sutter/Davis Payne made on the pp left Jamie Kompon scratching his head. After Drew Doughty missed everything in sight, the NEW game plan was to put the puck ON NET. With Kopi and Carter clogging the zone, guess what happened? The same thing when you roofie a girl. You score.
Wait, did the Kings just score TWO power play goals against the #1 PK team in the playoffs? Come on, Chicago fans, I thought you were going to sweep? I thought you were going to dominate? I thought you weren’t the murder capital of the US? Go ahead and bitch and moan about that “too many men on the ice penalty” go ahead and cry like a 5 year old who had his punch ball taken away. Muzzin’s blast was as beautiful as a naked Nina Agdal.
Stand around Chicago. The puck didn’t hit the netting and Toffoli made Corey Crawful look like a deep dish asshole.
But the Blackhawks have not lost at home. this post-season. They’ve won 18 of their last 20 at home.
Hat Trick bitches!
Did the Kings tie a record they once set on the Miracle on Manchester?
How great is Staples gonna be?