I Hurt From Smiling!
Drew Doughty kept his promise.
3 hours to get from Woodland Hills to Anaheim. I could have flown to San Jose and BACK! Made it just in time to see the first goal and since that decrepit dump is designed for midgets, I nearly broke my fucking hand on the entrance ceiling.
Wait, did they just score on the power play? Never would have happened under “Gumby” Kompon. If Reggie Jackson is “Mr. October”, Justin Williams is “Mr. Game 7″ – He now shares a record for most goals scored in a Game 7 with Wayne Gretzky? All we need now is for Gaborik and Richards to score. The odds of that happening would be about the same as Toronto Mayor Rob Ford going on Weight Watchers.
Having heard on the radio that teams in round 2 that score first were 24-1, I considered peeing in my pants with excitement.
Before I could pop the tab on my Dos XX tall boy, the Kings had scored again. Does anyone miss Jack Johnson, his goofy grin and his -90?
My first thought was, “I knew Sutter would out-coach Boudreau” and he made Bruce look like an organ grinders monkey. The Kings first two goals were from shots that generated rebounds, and the Kings were pounding on rebounds like a fat man pounds on a Vegas whore.
That and when YOU were 20 years old, you were trying to cover your zits with moms make-up. But THIS Ducks 20 year old goaltender was starting in game 7 and he was like being on his first date with a pretty girl when the motorcycle dude comes along, pushes him aside and takes off with his date and fucks the ever loving shit out her.
Then came that make-up wearing, cheating son-of-a-bitch Corey Perry who used a broken stick to fool the refs into thinking Drew Doughty had chopped it thus being awarded a penalty shot (what DRAMATICS on the part of the ref by the way… the Academy Award for biggest douche is all yours).
When Quick poke-checked his “attempt” it sent the Kings home crowd into a frenzy (where the hell WERE the Duck fans? Did they just sell their tickets out of FEAR?) That was the defining moment for the Kings and it was all downhill for the Ducks after that.
When Mike Richards scores a goal it’s about as rare as eating a blue lobster, (which I plan on doing next week in the Caribbean).
Of course, being a Kings fan, I was waiting for the refs to call a 5 minute major and for the Ducks to score 3 goals on that power play (I still remember the Courtnall/O’Donnell/Storr’s concussion game which broke my heart). But then Anze sent the kid to the showers and Gaborik continues to make Dean Lombardi look like a genius for getting this absolute stud for Matt Frattin!
That Carter hesitation, then pass to Pearson for the 6th goal sent most everyone packing leaving nothing but Kings fans in attendance and the few who wanted to pay their respects to Teemu.
I got a little verklempt when Selanne skated off the ice for the final time in his career – and for the record, he didn’t kill anyone, he just broke some dudes leg in a car accident. Much like Bob McKenzie, I was wr….. not right.
Love that the Kings players stuck around after the handshake to pay their respects.
Props to my gal-pal who correctly predicted on the ride to Anasmile that the Kings would win 6-2.
The Kings scoring 6 goals? About as rare as my wife blowing me.
Three things I like about Honda Center
1) no metal detectors – they waved a wand over my belt, but I got my brass knuckles in no problem (just in case)
2) the lines for concessions much better organized than Staples.
3) the Kings kicked the shit out of the Ducks there including the most important game of their rivalry
Does ANYONE remember the 2-0 Ducks win at Dodger Stadium?
My thoughts on Chicago:
The Kings won’t be as beat up as they were last year and they may even get a much needed, much rested Willie Mitchell. (Forget Regehr, he’s gone) – Looking at Minnesota, they nearly beat Chicago. The Hawks certainly have four solid lines but I really do think the Kings defense and goaltending is better than Crawford and if they can play the way Minnesota did, the Kings will be looking at their 3rd straight Game 7.
New York or Montreal will be represented in the Stanley Cup finals. That jizz sound you heard tonight when the Kings won were the execs, who were spooning with hookers last night, inviting MORE whores over to attempt sucking a golfball through a garden hose. They’re happy.
Willie Mitchell didn’t play – Haven’t I been telling you that since the day he got hurt?
The great Bob McKenzie was WRONG????
I love the rumors:
- Shero was fired because he wouldn’t fire Bylsma
- Bylsma was fired but them management changed their mind
They don’t want Bylsma to coach Washington and eliminate the Penguins from NEXT years’ playoffs!!!