Kings Leave Two Points in Detroit

They had more shots than Charlie Sheen at a bar.

The scored with the goalie pulled for the first time since some guy named Jesus was still walking around in sandals.

Michael Keaton Ellerby didn’t help.

They win a faceoff and Jonathan Quick picked a bad time to go Bill Buckner. This one stings. Like having that asshole at the club steal your girl and he’s as big as an MMF guy and there’s nothing you can do about it except go home and cry in your pillow, sting.

We’re 10 games in and Jeff Carter has yet to register an assist, Drew Doughty doesn’t have a goal and is -10. So much for “working on his defense” – Somewhere in Columbus, Jack Johnson is silently saying, “See, it wasn’t ALL my fault.”

The defending cup champs are tied with Calgary, Colorado and Columbus. That’s as bad as waking up next to a tranny. (not that that’s ever happened to this writer, of course)

The Kings have scored just 22 goals (Tampa has 42). Watching this team is about as exciting as watching a llama fuck.

I don’t think its coincidence that after the Kings won the cup, I dedicated my time and energy to my career. This week alone, I was working with Bar Rafaeli and Kate Upton. Somehow that’s a lot more exciting than watching the Kings score 2 goals a game.