How many of you are as nerdy as I am?
You would think after winning the Stanley Cup last season that anything else would be icing on the cake. Kind of like banging that girl you’ve always wanted to bang and then she buys you a Harley.
But you’re not a TRUE Kings fan unless you’ve taken ALL of the remaining games from ALL of the other teams and tried to figure out where the Kings will wind up and whom they will play. After all, today was overcast and you got out of gardening, so hopefully you spent all day on ESPN figuring this out. I know there’s a web site that does this that provides odds after every single game, but that’s kind of like cheating at Scrabble.
I don’t know about you but the only team I don’t want to play in the first round is the Vancouver Canucks. Not because I don’t think we can’t beat them, it’s because I don’t want to see any of their stupid fans at Staples Center with their stupid painted faces and their stupid green men. By the way, how can those stupid green men even get INTO Staples since they have a NO MASK policy! I smell conspiracy theory!
Come to think of it, I don’t want to play the Blues either. See, they’re like we were two years ago when we were getting a taste of the playoffs for the first time since Cuba Gooding Jr was still a star. Since we swept them like a Dyson vacuum they went out and got TWO defenseman at the deadline and have only allowed 2 goals in their last FOUR games. They also didn’t have Halak and they also didn’t have Pieterangelo. They scare me. Like sitting alone at a bar with a drunk Mickey Rourke scare me.
Given the Blues relatively easy schedule, it looks like we’re playing the Blues… unless they wind up playing the Sharks… which means we’re playing Vancouver.
I’ve given myself a headache.
MONDAY NIGHT YOU’RE ROOTING FOR:
Phoenix over San Jose
The Sharks play Phoenix tomorrow then come home to face the Kings (they’ve lost at home only ONCE in 20 games), and could jump AHEAD of the Kings with back-to-back wins. Why did I even write that!
Nashville over Vancouver:
They’ve lost 6 straight and play Vancouver at home. But Vancouver plays the Blues Tuesday night and we need Vancouver to beat them.
That’t it. That’s all I got for tonight.