The LW Disaster Continues
For years and years, the Kings could never find a top center to push Josef Stumpel to where he belonged on the 2nd line. Dave Taylor finally makes a deal for Jason Allison and the Kings problems are solved!
Close up of defenseman Peter Harrold’s confused face as he skates on the left wing.
Dean Lombardi shakes his head at the thought of another season of Alexander Fro-LOAF.
Dean Lombardi backs up the Brinks truck for Alexei Ponikarovsky and Ryan Smyth and secretly believes Kings fans will quickly forget he let Matt Moulson go for nothing short of a box of Twinkies.
SERIES OF SHOTS:
Dean Lombardi converts Dustin Brown from a RW to a LW. Kyle Clifford is groomed to take over the LW power forward spot but fails like an Obamacare website.
Dwight King scoring exactly TEN regular season goals in NINETY games at the LW position.
Simon Gagne slowly tries to catch up to opponents who leave dust all over his uniform, while making too much money, always being hurt, and then bitching about how unhappy he was in L.A.
Lombardi is caught stroking his shaft while watching Matt Frattin play for Toronto. He insists he has better hair than Dustin Penner and trades his only decent asset to acquire him. One major problem. Lombardi tries to convert Frattin into a left winger which fails like I did when asking Kate Upton to fuck me.
Frozen Royalty reports today that the Kings may experiment with Alec Martinez at LW.
(writer plants palm firmly into face)
Okay, okay, all kidding aside, what was Lombardi SUPPOSED to do? Sign Valeri Filpulla to that sickening 5 year 25 million dollar deal? How about that stalwart left winger Ryane Clowe, 5 years at 24.5 million for ZERO goals and another concussion. How about Clarke MacArthur? He was available and cheap. ZERO goals. Viktor Stalberg? ZERO goals. Mason Raymond, who nobody wanted? 4g, 4a in 10 games.
Here are the failures:
Clifford’s inability to become the power forward he was groomed to be.
Dwight King being forced into a 2nd line position he has no right playing
Dustin Penner sucking as badly as a teenager with braces
Tanner Pearson is NOT the answer. That’s all the Kings need to do is bring up this kid too soon and turn him into the next Oscar Moller who never recovered from the Bobby Ryan check and is happily playing with Bud Holloway in a country that has advertising on their jersey’s.
How do you pry Tomas Vanek away from Buffalo? Not forgetting how to figure a way to get him under the cap as well. Go ahead trade geniuses? (Of course, Sutter will have him playing “responsible” and he’ll bolt for Minnesota after compiling 10 goals in 72 games with the Kings)
TSN Toronto says the Kings will move a defenseman soon.
No shit, Sherlock.
Have you SEEN the leading D-scorer in Manchester? It ain’t Forbort.
Andrew Bodnarchuk is telling the Kings brass he’s ready for NHL duty.