Things I’m Pissed Off About
Time Warner – how fucking inept is this company? First they won’t carry CBS so they lose millions of customers who switch over to DirecTV. So of course now I can’t get a DirecTV guy over to the house to INSTALL this bullshit GenieGo system they conned me into ordering nor the tech guy to come over and FIX IT because it’s never worked in the first place. Double whammy!
Ford Edge – what a pile of American Made SHIT this car is. It runs nice, it looks nice, but whichever moron designed the ForyMyTouch system should be sent to Iran and stoned to death. NOTHING EVER WORKS!
Steven Stamkos’ Broken leg – At least the nets aren’t cemented into place like they used to be. Stamkos would never have walked again. So, you have players who skate 50 miles per hour on ICE. Lets put METAL in front of them. My Kings Vs Tampa Bay Lightning Tickets are now about as worthless as a fat stripper.
People Who Want Shit For Free – You greedy motherfuckers! All of you! Somebody gives you something for free and all of a sudden you’re like a virgin on a pussy hunt. Hasn’t it been drilled into your heads enough that “nothing is free” – I hate people who ask for stuff for free… like the people who say “do you have an “extra” cigarette?” No, it didn’t come with an EXTRA when I bought them, and if you can’t afford to smoke, DON’T. Of course when I say, “no”, they get all pissy and start acting like an asshole. You were so friendly and charming when asking me to spare a smoke, but because I say “no” now you’re a fucking dickwad? PEOPLE! Or when you go to a movie theatre early and get a perfect seat, then five minutes into the previews, some dink and his ugly date say, “do you mind moving down one?” I never do. I say, “I do mind. I got here early and I’m nice and comfortable, thank you.” I’ve ruined many a date doing that but FUCK THEM. Get there early next time, Gomer.
Leaving During a Power Play – I’m going to start bringing socks full of manure to the games. The next time someone stands up in front of me during a Kings POWER PLAY, I’m going to start swinging shit. They couldn’t leave when they were putting the player in the penalty box. No! They just HAD TO WAIT until the power play starts to decide they have to attend to their vaginal yeast infections.
Concession Lines – How come McDonalds has figured out how to move a line quickly and efficiently. McDONALDS!!!! Holy shit, Staples, you’ve been open since 1999 and they STILL haven’t figured out how to properly move a concession line? This is why I’m no longer going to 43 home games. This is why I’m no longer trekking downtown to pay overpriced parking rates. This is why I happily sell my tickets and watch the games at home. There are 276,985 thousand out of work college graduates who could design a better system than what they have on display there on a nightly basis.
These Movies? – I can’t watch them anymore. Seriously. They get dumber and dumber and dumber and then having to sit in a theatre with people texting and chomping on nacho’s, I understand why people want to stick a bazooka in some rednecks face and pull the trigger. I took my son to see some dumb cartoon and with tickets drinks and popcorn, it set me back 47 bucks!!! Holy Shit! Don’t get me started on the cost of Lego’s.
The Economy – I remember the days when Bill Clinton was in office and I could buy a new house in the valley for 200K, the dollar was so strong I could go to Italy and France for half price and Australia for 1/4th the price. What the hell has happened? Detroit is bankrupt? California can’t pay anyone their unemployment, and the only job anyone can get is to join the Army. Bush and Obama both suck. There’s no joke here. We voted for them.
Music – Where’s the new Zeppelin? Crue? Jimi? Beatles? Bowie? Pistols? Anyone….?
Thanks for letting me vent. I have a cold and its made me crabby.